She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
