people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
