I want to stick my p in your. b.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Randomize
