Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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