"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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