I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize