Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
