You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
whose ass print is on the piano?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize