Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
