Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
