This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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