she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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