sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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