Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
