ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
