): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
