Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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