Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
