thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
