So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
