I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
