I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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