went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
