I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
