Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
