So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
