You made me cry and you don't even care
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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