He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
