well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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