when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize