nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize