Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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