I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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