Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
