my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Randomize
