he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
