Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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