I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
