hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
