Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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