He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
