i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
