he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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