Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Say something about gay babies.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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