She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
