Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
