Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
