Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
