My room smells like vodka and shame
i already hear my dad disowning me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
