just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize