if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
