Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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